In our Wisdom Series, we finish up this week on Proverbs’ concentrated teaching on sex.
God made sex to be wonderfully and intensely enjoyed in marriage as part of the whole relationship of intimacy and trust.
We saw this in Proverbs 5. But such a gift that is so powerful can also be used to do much harm. We saw this in Proverbs 5 and 6.
Here, the teaching method changes to a case study. Case studies are very effective because they draw us in to see how we would act in that situation. What would we do the same or differently? Solomon invites us to do this as a final test to see how wisdom has influenced us in choosing to resist bad sex.
As we study Proverbs 7, we will test our convictions and application of wisdom in how we avoid bad sex. Here are our points:
Treasuring wisdom
Conduct leading to compromise
Characteristics of a person promoting bad sex
Tactics of a person promoting bad sex
Effect on the one seduced
Final debrief from wisdom
Notice how the structure of the 6 points reflect on themselves. Points 1 and 6, 2 and 5, 3 and 4 all relate to each other. This helps us in our interpretation as they complement one another.
Treasuring Wisdom
1 My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. 2 Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. 3 Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and to insight, “You are my relative.” 5 They will keep you from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words (Proverb 7:1-5, NIV).
For the third time in a row before the author addresses sex, he reviews wisdom’s importance. Proverbs 5 was a call to apply wisdom in choosing good sex over bad. Proverbs 6 emphasized the constant need for wisdom so we can have its continual care. Here we see how we should value wisdom, which complements what was already said.
We follow wisdom’s advice as an important word to one loved and it is our way to life.
We should always treasure it and guard it as we guard our own eyes.
We automatically flinch and react to protect our eyes and our reaction to keep wisdom should be this automatic. It should be always on our heart and with full conviction. If we love wisdom like a sister, this will keep us from the other woman, the immoral woman.
Wisdom will protect us from the lures of an affair, which can sound exciting, and from flattery, which can make our pride work against us. The threat is real and dangerous so we must treasure wisdom to have an effective counter.
Conduct Leading To Compromise
6 At the window of my house I looked down through the lattice. 7 I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who had no sense.
8 He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house 9 at twilight, as the day was fading, (Proverb 7:6-9, NIV).
Now the case study starts and we are introduced to a young man and his attitude and actions.
He already distinguishes himself among his peers as being foolish. A first warning sign to compromise is the general character of a person and if he is wise or not in all other areas.
Next, his actions are deliberate and persistent in getting close to bad sex. What we do that brings us close to immorality is another warning sign that we are compromising.
He spends all evening and night in this, which is a third sign if we spend our time doing questionable things. He also does this in the dark to hide his actions.
“If we have to be sneaky in our actions, that should warn us.”
The final warning sign is that he is all alone. No one to check on him or to help him.
We also need to evaluate our actions and see if we recognize ourselves in these traits. We should be open with our spouse and friends and before the Lord (Psalm 139:23-24). This is your chance to stop bad sex before it gets out of control.
Characteristics Of A Person Promoting Bad Sex
10 Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. 11 (She is unruly and defiant, her feet never stay at home; 12 now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.) (Proverb 7:10-12, NIV)
The woman is described in a number of ways showing her general character.
Heart - she takes the initiative to promote bad sex. She dresses to appeal sexually and she is sly of heart, which points to not being fully open with her intentions and being coy.
Relations - she is bold and rebellious and is not satisfied with her husband. She is searching for someone else.
Flirts - she makes advances and comes on regularly.
If we know someone who is like this, we need to be careful.
“Keeping our friends/spouse informed if we feel uncomfortable around someone can be a good defense.”
Tactics Of A Person Promoting Bad Sex
13 She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said: 14 “Today I fulfilled my vows, and I have food from my fellowship offering at home.
15 So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! 16 I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. 17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18 Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! 19 My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. 20 He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.” (Proverb 7:13-20, NIV)
Tactics are the specific steps toward seduction. If we realize what can happen, it can help us not get close in the first place.
Speed, surprise, boldness - she suddenly throws herself at him and kisses him which brings confusion and being off balance.
Single out in flattery - she says she was looking only for him and has food to share and found him.
Romantic atmosphere - she describes her bed and increases the enticement to experience this.
Erotic pleasure is appealed before it happens to get his thoughts there.
Safety could be a deterrent so she assures him her husband is long gone and won’t be back for a while.
We need to ask how we would do in a similar situation. If we don’t run away in the compromise part, how can we run away in the heat of the battle?
Effect On The One Seduced
21 With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. 22 All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose 23 till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life (Proverb 7:21-23, NIV).
He took the bait and the final tipping point was her speech. This shows the power of words over even sexy looks.
He is now like a trapped animal, not knowing the danger he is in and not realizing its seriousness. He has lost all wisdom and is just operating like an animal driven by hormones.
Bad sex always reduces a person, thwarts his thinking, and stops proper evaluation.
Final Debrief From Wisdom
24 Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. 25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. 26 Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death (Proverb 7:24-27, NIV).
Wisdom sums up the results from the case study. We will listen when we see what could happen.
“We should not let the process start.”
Our heart and intentions should not go that way. The place to stop in in point 2 about compromise.
Bad sex has been the ruin of many. Others thought they could get away with it but it killed them all. Why would we think we could be an exception?
The final punch is that her bedroom is really the death chamber. It is the opposite of what she described it but wisdom points out the reality.
We have covered a lot regarding sex. We need to review and evaluate ourselves and make the appropriate changes to align ourselves with wisdom.
If you have gone down the road of bad sex, not all is lost. You have a chance to turn to the Lord and His word. "Obey His commands and live" still stands.
But whether it is sex or other areas, we are all trapped in the things we do wrong.
We have made a mess of our own lives and the lives of others. We are stuck and can’t escape.
God does not stand outside and condemn us but sent Jesus into the trap with us. He took on our sins and died for them.
He broke the trap by being raised from the dead and now offers the way of escape to all who will believe and trust Him. He offers this to everyone. We can refuse His help out of pride or unbelief and stay trapped and condemned.
“But Christ can give us new life in Himself since He is our wisdom and strength.”
Have you trusted in Him and allowed him bring you out of your prison?
