Wisdom is the art of living well under the freedom of God’s direction. He is the one who loves us and cares for us. His rules are really for our best and sex is no exception.
God is the author of sex and it is a means of great blessing for married couples.
But a great blessing can become a great loss if used improperly. Proverbs 6 helps us avoid bad sex by following God’s wisdom.
This is part 2 of 3 of the concentrated teaching in Proverbs regarding sex. We covered the first part in Proverbs 5 and next week will be Proverbs 7.
As we explore Proverbs 6:20-35, we will understand these principles:
The constant life dependency on wisdom
The threat: The appeal of bad sex
The first consequence: Unavoidable punishment
The second consequence: Utter foolishness of a painful legacy
The Constant Life Dependency On Wisdom
20 My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 21 Bind them always on your heart; fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 23 For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life (Proverb 6:20-23, NIV).
We notice that at the beginning of Proverbs 5, here in Proverbs 6, and next in Proverbs 7, before talking about sex, the writer of Proverbs appeals to us to be wise and to grow in wisdom. Each section gives a complementary focus on wisdom.
Proverbs 5 mentions the application of wisdom. Our passage here emphases the constant need for wisdom. We will see next week about Proverbs 7.
Here we notice so many words and phrases regarding our regularly seeking wisdom and then how wisdom continually cares for us. This section has two parts: what we do and then what wisdom does for us.
“What we do is to keep God’s instruction and not neglect it.”
Like language learning, we need to be at it constantly. We keep it in our heart, directing our lives and always affecting all we do. As a result, wisdom will watch over us 24/7.
It leads us during the day, protects us when we are not aware of situations like when we sleep, and gives guidance as we start our days.
It illumines our thoughts and plans and continually corrects us. This shows we are not perfect but this process of correction is the way to life.
The Threat: The Appeal Of Bad Sex
24 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife, from the smooth talk of a wayward woman. 25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes (Proverb 6:24-25, NIV).
Wisdom is so needed because the temptation to bad sex is so strong. Notice the inherent promise that wisdom will keep us safe.
“It can give victory over temptation.”
Solomon outlines three areas of appeal.
A smooth tongue assures and disarms our resistance. It is alluring and makes me unaware of the danger.
Beauty has a natural attraction for us but sometimes beauty is dangerous. Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light. We should not let desire for beauty control and direct our lives.
Coy glances intensify pressure to give in sexually. Eyes are very powerful and can be highly suggestive. We are not to be led away in this.
Society enforces these appeals by saying we should live by our desires and be free to make our own choices as long as we don’t harm anyone else. But do we really know what harms ourselves and others?
What about others and their wishes? Living by this maxim brings isolation and conflict and foolish decisions.
“How can we resist temptation?”
Wisdom shows the true nature of the evil involved. We see beyond the surface to the reality of the danger. God restricts the harmful so we can enjoy the good. His word is the Law of Liberty as James 1:25 says.
25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do (James 1:25, NIV).
The First Consequence: Unavoidable Punishment
26 For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread, but another man’s wife preys on your very life. 27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?
28 Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? 29 So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished (Proverb 6:26-29, NIV)
Immorality brings about poverty. Wealth is wasted on ever-increasing desires for bad sex. Addiction leads to all sorts of financial costs and life changes.
It also costs a person his life. As opposed to wisdom that is the way to life, bad sex takes life away. All that makes life worth living is eventually lost.
Just like the guarantee of getting burned by fire, so we will be burned by bad sex. This unavoidable punishment helps take the sparkle out of bad sex.
The Second Consequence: Utter Foolishness Of A Painful Legacy
30 People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. 31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. 33 Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away.
34 For jealousy arouses a husband’s fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. 35 He will not accept any compensation; he will refuse a bribe, however great it is (Proverb 6:30-35, NIV).
We might have sympathy for a starving person if they stole food but the choice for bad sex garners no sympathy. It is an irresponsible choice.
The writer lists these consequences: destruction, wounds, disgrace, never-ending shame, no mercy from the injured, and no sufficient compensation to make up for the act.
“We have a permanent legacy we have to live with.”
Both consequences are very sobering and wisdom has to be honest with us to tell the whole truth. We can choose our paths but we cannot choose our consequences.
But we all have failed in the area of bad sex, whether by giving into to temptations, pornography, or illicit relationships. What hope is there for us?
God does not erase the wrong things we do. He takes them instead.
Jesus died for our sins. He did not pretend they did not happen or were not serious. He suffered in our place so we could have His freedom.
Marriage again is a great illustration. When married, husband and wife share each others debts and wealth. Because we are united with Christ, our debt of sin becomes His and He paid our penalty. His life and righteousness become ours (1 Corinthians 1:30). This is all pure grace and His gift to us.
“Jesus also becomes our wisdom.”
He leads us as God’s Incarnate Word through His words of Scripture. He became a fool for our sake so we could be wise in Him.
Have you trusted in Jesus’ sacrifice for your sins? He offers it freely to all who will take Him as their Savior and Lord.
Please click on the video below to hear a full sermon on the topic “Wisdom and Bad Sex“ or “Why Our Sexuality Matters To God (Part 1)“.
