Envy and Jealousy

The Hebrew text uses the word “qinah” for envy which translates as zeal or jealousy. And the context refers to the negative side of jealousy which can translate “envy” because envy leads to bad consequences. A dictionary definition of “envy” is to covet, to selfishly desire things that others enjoy.

A calm and peaceful and tranquil heart is life and health to the body, But passion and envy are like rottenness to the bones (Proverbs 14:30, AMP).

One-sided Envy

Do not let your heart envy sinners [who live godless lives and have no hope of salvation], But [continue to] live in the [reverent, worshipful] fear of the Lord day by day (Proverbs 23:17, AMP).

When the psalmist looked at the lives of certain godless people they appeared to be doing quite well - they had wealth, health, and happiness, while he was struggling in his life. As a result, he began questioning God.

However, this Psalm was written after his struggle. The psalmist had made careful, well thought out observations about their lives and came to the realization that the happiness and prosperity of these people who had no fear of God was only a perception and short-lived. They really are “on a slippery path, …sliding over the cliff to destruction” (Proverbs 23:18, NLT). Proverbs 23:17-18 says these people have no future hope, they are doomed.

David’s son Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, encourages those who are struggling with this thought to adopt the final perspective of the psalmist.

How do you know if you are envious or not?

Here are some tests:

• Are you happy or unhappy when others succeed?

• Do you feel the need to diminish others’ successes?

• Do you desire what others have?

• Are you happy when someone else fails or loses?

• Do you wish you had someone else's gifts or talents?

When we compare what others have, what they have accomplished and who they hang out with, our lives may come up short. Envy makes us despise people we do not even know.

At the beginning of human history, envy incited Eve to rival God’s knowledge and wisdom and Cain to kill his brother Abel in cold blood (Genesis 4:3-5). Later we see how envious Leah was of Rachel because of Jacob’s love for her, and then see Rachel’s envy because Leah was giving Jacob sons and she was not able to have any.

When she finally did have children, Jacob then showed so much favoritism towards Joseph (Rachel’s son) that his brothers were thinking of ways to kill him because of envy.

One of the Ten Commandments the Lord gave His people was:

You shall not covet [that is, selfishly desire and attempt to acquire] your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife,...or anything that belongs to your neighbor….” (Exodus 20:17, AMP).

The Two Sides of Jealousy

Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? (Proverbs 27:4)

There are two sides of jealousy, an unhealthy, sinful jealousy and a godly jealousy. Let’s look at the first side of jealousy.

• Unhealthy, sinful jealousy. Unhealthy jealousy is rooted in a lack of self-worth, making one inadequate, unimportant, and inferior.

  The difference between envy and jealousy is a subtle one. Envy always has an outward focus: we desire some item, person, or attribute possessed by someone else, and we are discontent or resentful about not having it.

  Jealousy is often found in a more restricted context of the protection of one’s own belongings or relationships, especially romantic relationships. When it comes to marriage, here are just a few examples of unhealthy jealousy:

  • You doubt your spouse’s honesty and wrongfully accuse him or her, pushing your spouse away

  • You feel worthless and unimportant to them

  • You become frustrated and overwhelmed

  • You have a desire to control your spouse

• Godly Jealousy. There is a positive side to jealousy. This type of jealousy is defined as “zealous vigilance.” For example, Paul’s jealousy in 2 Corinthians 11:2 was that the Corinthian church would be exclusively devoted to God.

  Godly jealousy:

  • reveals a pure devotion commitment to the relationship

  • protects your marriage by safeguarding the relationship against threats

  • deepens your openness with each other because of the expressed commitment

  • creates accountability

If your spouse is a secure person and desires to protect your marriage against cracks, you need to listen.

One example in the Bible is in Gen. 21:1-21 when God told Abraham to listen to his wife concerning Hagar and not allow her to stay in the house with their illegitimate son. Sarah was demanding that Abraham protect Isaac and God’s promise by sending Hagar and Ismael away. In this case, Abraham discovered that Sarah’s advice is not mere jealousy but wisdom.

and that will pay off in every area of your life.

Remember this: Only God is a perfectly jealous God. God is jealous of his children: “You shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God” (Exodus 34:14). It is this type of jealousy Paul wrote about in 2 Corinthians 11:2 “I am jealous of you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.”

The jealousy of God is an important theme and a necessary aspect of God’s majestic, holy, and loving character. God wants to be the only God in your life, He wants to be first in your life.

The 3 Keys to Contentment

Contentment is found:

• apart from our circumstances

• in Christ’s sufficiency

• in submission to God’s sovereignty

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13, NLT).

• Contentment apart from our circumstances

  Writing from prison, Paul wrote to the church that he learned to be content in every situation he faced. Paul was learning to be content whether he had everything he thought he needed or not.

  He realized that whether free or in jail, rich or poor, hungry or full, whether he was alone or with others, his ultimate security, his peace could not be derived from His circumstances (which were out of his control).

• Contentment in Christ’s sufficiency

  When Paul was tempted, he could not overcome his temptations in his own strength. He had to find his strength in God’s sufficient grace. He realized the secret of contentment is ultimately found in Christ. His sufficient grace and strength will bring calm to a troubled heart.

  Paul’s contentment was grounded in the sufficiency of His Savior to meet his needs, to give him strength to persevere and so He could say, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

• Contentment in submission to God’s sovereignty

  Here in verse 13 Paul was not saying that I can pursue whatever I want, and God will strengthen me, but whatever God has called me to or whatever situation I find myself in, even in desperate times, when I come in humble submission to Christ and His will I will learn to be content with His plan. I will learn to receive what I need for the particular situation I am facing.

  Paul knew that God was in control, God knew his need, and God would supply or not supply as He saw fit. He submitted to the sovereign hand of God to provide those needs.

Realize that no human being, place, thing, or situation will ever, ever satisfy the deepest needs within your heart.

Envy and jealousy will consume you, corrode and rot your bones but godliness with contentment will break its power.